Still Want New Friends… But Afraid It’s Too Late?
You’re not alone for feeling this way—and it’s more common than you think.
Hey there!
Welcome to Together Kit.
Ever had one of those moments where you think about making new friends, but also wonder what’s the point? I mean, everyone has their own circles already, they’re not interested in meeting anyone new—including you.
This week, we help you hack this assumption, so you can feel confident approaching new people and finding your peeps.
Time to let go.
Today’s Social Hacks dilemma…
📌 How to Stop Assuming Everyone Already Has Friends
So, you want to make new friends, yet it feels like everyone has their circle already, doesn’t it? At work, at events, even in casual settings—it seems like people are already locked into their groups. You convince yourself that no one is looking for new friends, that it’s too late to build new meaningful connections.
So, you stop trying, because what’s the point? You believe that any new connection will always remain surface-level, that you’ll never be as close to someone as their existing friends. Even when you meet someone you click with, that little voice creeps in: They don’t need me in their life. I’d just be an extra.
And so, friendships that could have developed never even get a chance. You feel stuck, thinking everyone else has their social life sorted out—except you.
What People Typically Do (That Doesn’t Work)
They don’t go out and stay home instead – They tell themselves there’s no point in meeting new people if no one is looking for new friends anyway.
They feel anxious and left out at social events – Even if no one has actually excluded them, they assume they don’t belong, which makes them withdraw even more.
They assume they’ll never get close to new people and stop keeping in touch – They let potential friendships fade, because they believe they’ll never matter as much as someone’s older friends.
They sabotage potential friendships by ghosting – Even when they do connect with someone, and it’s going well, they pull away before they can get rejected.
The Reason Why People Struggle
It’s easy to assume that friendships are set in stone, but that’s not how life works. Friendships shift as people move, change jobs, enter relationships, and evolve. The idea of “friends forever” that we’re told as kids? It’s a myth.
Friendship is seasonal, that’s the (hard) truth. People come in and out of each other’s lives at different stages. And if you’re looking for new friends, chances are other people are, too—even the ones who seem to already have a solid group.
Also, don’t assume that people with longtime friends are in a better position than you. Some stay in the same friendship circles out of habit, even if those friendships no longer fulfil them. Just because someone has old friends doesn’t mean they don’t want new ones—especially if you bring something into their life that they’re missing.
You’re not less than someone just because they have existing friends. You have your own unique personality, life experience, and value to bring to someone’s life. You just need to put yourself in the right places to meet people who are also open to new friends.
What You Should Do Instead
Instead of assuming no one is looking for new friends, focus on where to meet people who are actually open to connection. The best way? Join a group centred on an experience.
Look for settings where people are actively engaging in self-improvement—whether it’s a new hobby, fitness, public speaking, or personal growth. People in these spaces are often open to new connections, because they’re stepping outside of their routines.
What doesn’t work? Expecting to meet new friends in places where people are already in closed-off social groups, like bars and clubs. Instead, aim for interactive environments where conversation naturally happens, and friendships can develop organically.
Here are 7 places to meet new friends in a way that feels natural.
Expats groups – If you live abroad, expat meetups are filled with people also looking for new connections.
Toastmasters – A public speaking group where people improve their communication skills and support each other.
Running clubs – A great way to bond over fitness and encourage each other.
Local sports clubs – Even if you’re not super sporty, team sports naturally build camaraderie.
Dog walking groups – If you have a fur baby, joining a group walk makes casual convos effortless.
Language classes – Learning a language together creates shared struggles and victories, all perfect for bonding.
Cooking clubs – Food brings people together, and cooking in a group setting sets off easy conversations.
Social FAQ
How do I make it known I want to be friends with someone?
You don’t need to announce it—just be yourself and let connections build naturally. Trying too hard can come off as needy, so focus on enjoying the interaction first.
Is finding new friends hard? I’ve heard it’s impossible!
It’s not impossible—it’s just a process. Friendship isn’t instant, and it takes time to meet the right people who align with your values and interests. You’re not failing; you’re filtering.
What are good ways to entertain new friends in their 30s?
Keep it simple and time-efficient. Dinner, coffee, or brunch work best, because they fit into busy schedules. Avoid pubs or bars—food-based meets feel more intentional and relaxed.
Feel Relief
You’re not being left behind—friendships change and evolve, just like people do. Instead of assuming you don’t fit in, focus on where you can bring your unique energy into someone’s life.
Stuck Travelling With Your Boss? What Do You Even Say?!
You’re standing on the train platform, and there they are—your boss. Maybe you’ve just left a conference or meeting, maybe you’re heading to one. Either way, you now have to sit with them.
The problem? You only ever talk in the office, and now you feel trapped in a place where small talk feels forced, but deep convo feels impossible. What if you say something stupid? What if they mention your awkward chat to a colleague later?
You’re tired, they’re tired, and the pressure is on.
Here’s the secret: match their energy, then get them talking about food. Your boss is still “at work” in this moment too. So start with that—ask how they’re holding up. Then steer the chat toward food, a topic everyone can engage with. Favourite meals, go-to energy boosters—food makes convo flow effortlessly.
Here’s how to do it right:
Start with the day. If you’re leaving an event or meeting, ask how their day went. If you’re heading to either one, ask how yesterday was. This leads naturally into energy levels.
Move to food. Ask what they eat to keep their energy up—do they grab lunch or skip it? Do they cook or just survive on coffee?
Offer a suggestion. Mention something you like that helps with energy—bananas, nuts, avocados. Who knows? They might try it, and now you have an easy follow-up chat next time you see them.
Now that you’ve got the food trick up your sleeve, you’ll never struggle with small talk again. Piece of Cake!
Grab Your Together Gear
Tired of friendships that feel one-sided? There are 13 common reasons why these happen. Get all the answers you need in Reclaim Your Energy: Your Guide To One-Sided Friendships.
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