Wish You Were More Social At Parties? This Works Instantly
Struggle to mingle? Feel hesitant sometimes? Here’s the trick no one talks about.
Hey there!
Welcome to Together Kit.
Ever been at a party where you ‘re surrounded by new faces, but you’re not sure what to say? Sometimes, you just wish there were a way to break the ice without all the pressure.
This week, we help you hack through all the ice there is, so you can feel relaxed around strangers and start making new connections.
Let’s do it.
Today’s Social Hacks dilemma…
📌 How to Start a Conversation When You Don't Know What to Say
So here’s how it goes. You’re at a party where you don’t really know anyone, beyond your friend who brought you along. People are chatting in small groups, laughing, relaxed. You wish you could join in, but instead, you’re near the edges, worried. What if they think you’re interrupting? What if they don’t care what you have to say?
The longer you wait, the harder it feels to step in. Someone makes eye contact and smiles—you panic, look away, and now you’re stuck in your own head even more. You’re not shy. You just don’t know how to break into the convo without making it awkward.
What People Typically Do (That Doesn’t Work)
Say nothing and stand around – You tell yourself you’ll join when the moment feels right, but that moment never comes.
Introduce yourself, exchange pleasantries… then freeze – You say “Hi, I’m [Name]” and then get stuck.
Use alcohol to relax – You think a drink will loosen you up, but by the third one, you’re either oversharing or a bit drunk.
Leave early – You convince yourself it’s just not your thing, and traipse off home.
The Reason Why People Struggle
Most people assume the problem is not knowing what to say next—but that’s not it. The real issue is not having enough entry points into a conversation.
Here’s the thing: casual events are just that: casual. No one is waiting for you to say something. But if you don’t have a few easy, universal topics to bring up, you’ll always feel like you’re grasping for words.
And no, I don’t mean hobbies. Unless you’re at an event around a hobby (like a video game night or a wine tasting), you can’t assume people share your interests. What you need are topics that anyone can contribute to.
The good news? There are plenty.
What You Should Do Instead
The best way to feel confident in social situations is to have a few go-to convo topics that feel natural. But you don’t want to force it—so instead of overthinking what to say, think about where to start.
A simple trick? Prepare broad, everyday topics that make it easy for people to chime in. Stay away from politics or heavy debates. Instead, think light, universal, and timely.
For example:
“Has anyone seen [latest movie or trending Netflix series]?”
“Did you hear about [fun/weird local news]?”
“This place is great! Have you been here before?”
These are easy slides, and they don’t put pressure on anyone to give a “correct” response. They just get the ball rolling.
Here are 7 easy topics to research before leaving home.
Popular TV shows or movies – Know what’s trending so you can casually ask if anyone has seen it.
Local happenings – Festivals, new restaurants, or quirky news give you something fresh to bring up.
Seasonal topics – Holiday plans, summer vacations—these are easy, no-pressure topics.
Casual sports knowledge – Even if you’re not a fan, knowing if a major game happened gives you an in.
Food and drinks – Complimenting what someone is drinking or asking for recommendations works at any event.
Pop culture or viral trends – Memes, celebrity news, or something amusing you saw online can spark a fun chat.
Event-specific comments – “How do you know [host’s name]?” or “This playlist is great—any idea who made it?”
Social FAQ
How do I pick the right topics?
Go for something neutral, light, and easy to engage with. Think of topics that won’t cause tension—like food, pop culture, or local events.
How much do I have to know about this topic?
Just enough to start a conversation. You don’t need expert knowledge—just a fun or curious question to get others talking.
Isn’t small talk kind of pointless? Shouldn’t I go deeper?
Small talk isn’t about depth—it’s about opening the door to deeper conversations later. Think of it as the warm-up, not the whole game.
Feel Relief
You’re not bad at conversation. Instead of worrying about what to say, focus on where to begin. The more prepared you are, the less you’ll freeze up and the more fun you’ll have, too.
How Do You Leave a Party Without Feeling Like a Total Villain?
You came, you chatted, you laughed—but now you’re exhausted, and the only thing you want is to be in bed, cup of hot cocoa in your hand.
The problem? You don’t actually know the host, and sneaking out feels like a crime against party etiquette. If you just disappear, will people notice? Will someone call you out? Worse—will they talk about your vanishing act after you’re gone?
The longer you stay, the more you dread your escape. But don’t worry—there’s a way out. Literally.
Enter the Irish Goodbye—a time-honoured tradition of simply leaving without fanfare. No awkward goodbyes. No “just one more drink” delays. It’s not rude; it’s efficient.
Here’s how to pull it off like a pro:
Don’t vanish during a big moment. If the host is making a speech or the room’s attention is focused on something, wait until things are back to normal before making your move.
No dramatic exits. Just quietly gather your things and leave. Just go.
Follow up later. A simple text or voicemail the next day (“Thanks for a great night!”) is enough to acknowledge the host and ease any lingering guilt.
Once you’ve mastered the Irish Goodbye, you’ll never be stuck in party limbo again. Piece of Cake!
Grab Your Together Gear
Get some relief from all that partying, by checking out our book Colour Your Calm: Uplifting Words For Busy Lives.
Thanks for Reading the Latest Together Kit.
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